


Teddy Bear

by theofficialheartwarmer



Category: Little Women (1994), Little Women (2019), Little Women Series - Louisa May Alcott
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Homesickness, Hurt/Comfort, Nostalgia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-05
Updated: 2020-01-05
Packaged: 2021-02-27 08:35:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,907
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22124185
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theofficialheartwarmer/pseuds/theofficialheartwarmer
Summary: Jo is homesick and is struggling to adjust to college life. This leads to a reminiscent evening and a late-night phone call that is long overdue.
Relationships: Theodore Laurence/Josephine March
Comments: 9
Kudos: 113





	Teddy Bear

**Author's Note:**

> I’ve had the idea for this fic ever since I joined the Little Women fandom, and I finally wrote it! I see myself in Jo a lot in this fic, and I’m sure some of you do too! Hope you enjoy!

Jo unlocked the door to her dorm room and collapsed on the small, stiff bed, feeling both heavy and hollow inside at the same time. Thankfully, her roommate was out partying and probably wouldn’t return until the next morning, leaving Jo alone with her thoughts.

It had officially been three weeks since she had left her home in Concord and started college at Columbia in New York. Three weeks since she had tearfully hugged her sisters and parents goodbye at the train station in Boston and hopped on an Amtrak that took her to Penn Station. Three weeks since she had dragged two giant suitcases (one filled with clothes, the other with books) on to the subway and witnessed some of the strangest and most fascinating people going about their daily lives, including, but not limited to, five drag queens discussing where they should go to lunch, a woman carrying a large purse with two yapping chihuahuas in it, and a little girl wearing an oversized Greenday t-shirt running up and down the car, loudly shouting the lyrics to “American Idiot” while her grandmother tried to restrain her. Yes, it had been three weeks since Josephine March officially began life as a college student in a spectacular city, and yet something didn’t feel quite right. 

It wasn’t because anything in particular was wrong. In fact, everything was wonderful. The city had so much to offer, with new places to see every day. All of her classes were going well, and each professor seemed to strike her interest in a different way. She had joined the drama club and the book club and the creative writing club and the Women’s Equality Activism club and had made several friends in each. She got along well enough with her roommate, Cecilia, and they both respected each other even though they never really crossed social circles. Jo was truly living out the dream she had held onto since her freshman year of high school. So then why did she feel like this? 

Her mind wandered back to that fateful day when that dream had just begun to come true. It was a chilly February afternoon, and the snow was falling heavily as she and Beth and Amy hurried home from school. She had thrown open the door and the girls all scurried inside to keep warm. Just as she had been ready to run up to her room and start her AP Lit essay, Marmee called from the kitchen, “Jo, there’s a letter from Columbia for you on the kitchen table. You might want to take a look at it!” 

Jo’s heart began to race as she eagerly rushed into the kitchen, trying not to get her hopes up. She had applied to Columbia as her reach school, and though she sometimes dreamed about attending an Ivy League, she never truly allowed herself to want it, for fear of rejection and that dream being crushed. After all, why would an Ivy League school want her of all people, an ordinary girl with no excessive wealth or legacy, an overwhelming passion for knowledge, and a hot temper? 

As she approached the letter on the kitchen table, Jo realized all her attempts of containing her dream had been in vain, and that there was nothing she wanted more than to go to Columbia. The realization struck her so hard that a rush of fear washed over her, almost knocking her off her feet, as she ran her thumb underneath the flap of the envelope, carefully pulling the letter out and unfolding it. 

As soon as it was unfolded, her eyes immediately began scanning the letter’s contents.   
“Dear Ms. Josephine March,  
Each year the admissions team at Columbia University faces the task of determining which students are right for our institution of higher education. This is no easy or simple task, as we receive hundreds of thousands of applications each year, which all have to be carefully examined and analyzed to pick the students who are truly worthy of continuing their educational journey at Columbia. And so, it is our pleasure to inform you that you have been selected to attend Columbia University as an English major. Welcome to the class of 2023!” 

A brilliant smile quickly spread across Jo’s face as she shouted for joy and jumped up and down. “Marmee, Marmee, I got into Columbia!” She shrieked. 

Marmee turned around from the stove and engulfed her in a hug. “Oh, my smart, smart, girl, I am so very proud of you. I knew you could do it! Congratulations, dear!” 

The others all came rushing into the kitchen to find out what all the commotion was about. When they learned that their precious Jo had just been accepted into one of the most prestigious universities in America, they all joined in on the celebration. Beth and Amy squealed with excitement and showered her with hugs and kisses. Mr March placed his hands on Jo’s shoulders and quietly told her how proud he was to be her father. Amy quickly texted Meg the exciting news, who called Jo later that night to give her the biggest congratulations. Even Aunt March left a voicemail on the family landline expressing her pride in Jo’s achievement. 

The next morning, Jo had woken up to a text from Laurie. It said, “Amy texted me that you got into Columbia! Congrats! You’re gonna kill it Jo, I’m so proud!” 

Even though things had been so complicated between them at that time, the words still brought a small smile to Jo’s lips. 

The crashing of her Greek Mythology textbook onto the floor from off of her desk brought Jo out of her reverie and back to reality. She climbed off her bed and placed the book on the desk as she quietly chastised herself for feeling so miserable. 

“Selfish, that’s what you are. Columbia is everything you ever wanted and yet somehow you still have the nerve to feel unhappy,” she muttered to herself. 

Only, maybe the problem wasn’t that there was something wrong with Columbia. Maybe the problem was that she had a difficult time accepting change, and Columbia was a big change for her. And maybe, she missed having her friends and family around her to confide in when dealing with change. Maybe, despite all of the wonderful new people she had met, she was lonely. 

She thought about calling one of her sisters or her mother, but quickly dismissed that thought. They had all worked so hard to make sure she could financially afford to live out her dream, and Jo was terrified that if she expressed any uncertainty or sadness to them, that she would appear ungrateful for all of that hard work. And she couldn’t bear her family’s disappointment in her, especially because they had worked so hard to make her dream come true, only for her to have misgivings about that very dream later on. 

So yeah, confiding in them was definitely out of the question. 

Jo pulled her suitcase out from underneath her bed. Though all of her clothes had been folded into drawers and hung in the closet, and all of her books rested on the shelves, there was still one item that had yet to be unpacked. Carefully, she unzipped the suitcase and pulled it out. “It” was a teddy bear with curly, soft brown fur, a sewn-on smile, and the most adorable little nose. Jo hugged it tightly to her chest as the memories associated with the bear flooded her mind. 

It was the August before her senior year of high school. She and Laurie had been going out for nearly a year. They’d been best friends for years before that, of course, and all of their friends expected them to get together, so when Laurie had asked her, she agreed. She and Laurie had so much fun together as a couple. But alas, Laurie was a year older than her, and Jo knew those days of fun were coming to an end when college came a-knocking. 

So that August, the day before Laurie left for Harvard, they sat on his porch, and he presented Jo with the bear as a gift for her to remember him by. “A teddy from your Teddy,” he explained. And when he had said it, she realized they wouldn’t be able to keep this up while he was away. He was Teddy: he was funny and kind and talented and smart and she was so undeserving of him. Surely he would go off to Harvard and find a girl who was smarter and prettier and more patient and better than her. He deserved the freedom to try and find that girl, and Jo deserved the freedom to try and find herself during her senior year. She needed to focus on her academics instead of worrying about maintaining a long-distance relationship. 

“Teddy, I don’t think we can do this anymore,” she said, her voice shaking. 

“What do you mean?” He asked, his smile turning into an expression of worry and confusion. 

“I mean, I don’t think we can make our relationship work while you’re away and I’m trying to make one of the biggest decisions of my life. And I don’t want to ruin our friendship by trying. We both have more important things to focus on, and I’m sorry, Teddy, but it’s just better this way. For your good and for mine.” And with that, she rose to her feet, the bear still clutched in her left arm, and began running back to her own house. 

“But wait, Jo, I don’t understand, why-“ Laurie called out after her, but it was too late. She refused to look back. 

And the next morning, when the rest of her family went to see Laurie off, she stayed behind. She couldn’t bear to say goodbye to him.

Aside from the congratulatory text he had sent her about Columbia last February, that was the last time they had ever spoken. She refused to see him whenever he came home for break, fearing what would ensue from any interaction with him. 

But now, lying on her dorm bed, three weeks into college, feeling uncertain, and sad, and so, so lonely, she would give anything just to hear his voice. 

Still clutching the bear close to her chest, she picked up her phone and opened Laurie’s contact. She hesitated, but before she could dwell on the decision too long, she pressed the call button.

The phone began to ring, and Jo’s heartbeat sped up instantly, that same rush of fear that she felt when opening the letter from Columbia once again filling her body. 

The phone rang once. Then twice, then three times, then four. Jo began to lose hope in him picking up. Laurie was a Harvard student, for crying out loud, he was probably busy. And even if he wasn’t, he had no obligation to answer her call, especially after the way she treated him, and the fact that they hadn’t spoken in over a year didn’t help things. 

At the fifth ring, just as Jo began to accept that Laurie was not going to pick up and that it was stupid to even try reaching out in the first place, a soft “Hello?” came through the speaker. 

“Teddy?” She asked, her voice cracking, hardly believing she was really talking to him. Tears began to slide down her cheeks, tears of despair and relief and joy. 

“Jo? Is everything okay? What’s wrong?” He asked, his voice tender and filled with concern. 

“I’m sorry, you’re probably really busy and it was stupid to call-“

“No, don’t worry about that Jo, I’m not doing anything important right now,” he lied, closing his business textbook. “Tell me what’s bothering you.” 

Jo took a deep breath, trying to steady herself. “It’s just, I started school a few weeks ago and everything is going exactly as I hoped it would but something still doesn’t feel right. Like, I feel so heavy and hollow tonight and I don’t know why. I know I don’t have any reason to be unhappy, and that’s the worst part. I can’t help but feel sad and lonely sometimes. I’m so afraid to admit this to my family because they worked so hard to send me here and I don’t want to disappoint them by seeming ungrateful. And I know it must be weird to hear me confessing all this to you given the circumstances of our relationship, but I figured might understand, since you have experience being a college student and you were once my best friend and you were the only person with whom I ever felt comfortable being vulnerable.” 

Laurie took a deep breath, hardly knowing where to begin. Hearing from Jo brought back so many emotions, and he was afraid that as soon as he opened his mouth, he would lose control. But, he decided it would be best to be honest and just speak from the heart. 

“Jo, please, please believe me when I say that everything will be okay. And believe me, I know how you feel. During the beginning of my freshman year, I was a wreck. Even though, on paper, everything was going well, I was lonely and sad and I missed home terribly. But it did get better. I spent a lot of time talking with my grandfather and my friends from my graduating class and they gave me the strength and courage I needed to adapt to the change. And eventually, I had adjusted so well that school life just felt natural. Of course, there are still some difficulties, but I learn how to deal with them. So be patient with yourself, Jo, and don’t be afraid to talk to your family. It’s normal to feel this way, and I’m sure your parents and Meg went through the same thing. I’m sure they’ll understand how you’re feeling and won’t think you’re being ungrateful. So, in short, Jo, everything will be alright.” 

“You really think so?” 

“Of course. No matter how difficult it gets, you’ve never been one to back down from a challenge. And if you weren’t meant to be at Columbia, you would’ve realized it much sooner. You will succeed there, Jo, I have faith in you.” 

“Thank you, Teddy, you don’t know how much I needed to hear that.” 

Neither of them said anything for a few moments. Then Laurie said, “I’ve really missed you, Jo.” 

“Oh Teddy, I’ve missed you too, so very much!”  
Jo replied. “And I owe you an apology, because I’ve been absolutely terrible to you for the past year. I shouldn’t have broken up with you without listening to what you had to say first, and I definitely shouldn’t have shut you out of my life. But I was scared and insecure and unsure of what our future looked like and couldn’t help but feel like you would go away to college and realize I wasn’t enough for you. I thought that, if I ended things first, it would spare me the heartbreak of knowing you found someone to replace me, but instead, I hurt you and ruined our friendship and for that I am so terribly sorry.” 

Laurie’s voice began to quiver as he replied. “There was never anyone better than you, Jo. I didn’t think that then and I don’t think that now. Even though I was hurt, I never stopped loving you or caring about you.” 

“Will you ever be able to forgive me, Teddy?” Jo asked. 

“Of course I will, like I said, I love you, Jo,” Laurie said, his voice finally cracking. 

“I love you too, Teddy. I tried to convince myself for a long time that I didn’t, but that’s never been true. I love you. And I can’t promise that I’d be ready to get back together right away. I’m going through a lot right now and I don’t know that getting into a new relationship is really the best thing for me. But one thing I do know is that I never want to lose your friendship again. And, if you give me some time, I think there might be a possibility that we could try again, if you’d be interested.” 

By now they were both crying. 

“I miss our friendship too,” Laurie agreed, rubbing his shirtsleeve across his face in an attempt to dry his eyes. “And I can respect taking things slow, Jo. I want you to be happy. I’ll wait for you, until you’re ready, if you’re ever ready. But please, let’s be friends again. I didn’t even realize how much I missed...this.” 

“Me too,” Jo admitted. “Say, Teddy, do you think we could see each other during Fall Break?” 

“I think I would like that very much.”

“Good,” Jo said, smiling. “Well Teddy, goodnight, and thank you very much for everything tonight. It’s so nice to have you back.” 

“Goodnight, Jo. I’ll see you in October. And if you need anything, or you just want to talk, don’t hesitate to call me anytime, alright? 

“Alright,” Jo agreed. “Goodbye, Teddy.” 

“Goodbye, Jo. Take care now.” 

She ended the call and put her phone down. The heavy, hollow feeling in her chest was gone, for now. She rolled over, adjusting her blankets, and pulling the bear close to her chest. For the first time in weeks, she felt truly at peace.


End file.
